In order to help 2018 improve its service, we asked these artists for their customer feedback on 2017

Hello Joe (Talbot, Idles),

What will be your lasting memory of 2017?
Taking a shit on the side of the M4.

What did you do on your birthday this year?
Argued with my girlfriend and then went to Berlin for a gig.

Were there any other standout days or moments?
There was fucking loads of stand out moments. The whole year was.

There must have been a shitty time too?
Yes. The worst moment of my life.

Did you go on holiday this year? Anywhere nice?
Fuck no.

What was the song you listened to most?
Honestly, it’s a track from our second album that I’m trying to find the lyrics for. 300 listens. Someone else’s: I have listened to ‘Pears For Lunch’ by Girl Band every day for quite some time.

How about the movie of the year?
I can’t remember watching any except a really, really shit one called Baby Driver – I fucking hated it. I’ve just watched Ozark, which is pretty mega.

Big question now – who should have really won the Great British Bake Off?
Steven. Hands down.

What positives will you take from 2017?
That we have built a community of like-minded wonderful and open-minded people that came about at a time when I thought the world was cunts. Beautiful.

And the best gig you saw?
Shellac at Off Festival. We watched them from the side of the stage and it was one of those moments that you know you wouldn’t have without it being gifted from grace.

There’s a frontrunner for the villain of the year, but who or what do you think is second to that guy?
I don’t care for accolading pricks.

What will be your new year’s resolution for 2018?
Drink less. Read more.

Any other comments?
The 1975 are the best band in the world.

Thank you for helping us improve our service, Joe

Hello Jason (Williamson, Sleaford Mods),

What will be your lasting memory of 2017?
Too many things. My kids growing up. The mad crowds that keep getting bigger at gigs. ‘English Tapas’.

What did you do on your birthday this year?
Went to Ireland. Sat in a posh hotel. Did nothing.

Were there any other standout days or moments?
It was all great to be honest. Band wise. And personally, things are getting there, proper.

There must have been a shitty time too?
Yeah of course. But they don’t dictate anymore.

Did you go on holiday this year? Anywhere nice?
I stayed in Los Angeles after the US tour for a week. Family came out and some mates. Was good. Didn’t think I’d like it.

What was the song you listened to most?
Ours. We gigged like fuck.

How about the movie of the year?
Nothing really got me. Watched loads. Mostly horror. Think it’s a Turkish film if I remember rightly – a horror called Baskin. It’s bleak. Really bleak.

Big question now – who should have really won the Great British Bake Off?
I didn’t see whatever series that one came off. Was there a bit of controversy? I dip in and out. Gets a bit daft though, doesn’t it? World’s on its arse and we’re discussing the pink piping on a house made out of cookie dough.

What positives will you take from 2017?
Keep going.

And the best gig you saw?
Royal Trux. Some euro fest we played. They made me like rock’n’roll again, briefly. They did it properly. It was hopeless, abandoned almost but completely professional. You have it in your blood don’t you, but I guess the trick is to not have too much of the ‘other’ thing in your blood at the same time.

There’s a frontrunner for the villain of the year, but who or what do you think is second to that guy?
Putin looks like a discarded shit tea towel that’s been brought to life by an ancient wizard. That twat.

What will be your new year’s resolution for 2018?
I don’t do them.

Any other comments?
Why are you still falling for that shit. It’s fuckin shit.

Thank you Jason, we value your feedback

Hello Rebecca (Taylor aka Self Esteem),

What will be your lasting memory of 2017?
A year of looking through previous grey areas with people in power and asking myself if that was ok and sexy or not ok and ultimately not sexy at all actually, thank you.

What did you do on your birthday this year?
I went on the Scenic Railway at Dreamland in Margate and ingested various and copious calories.

Were there any other standout days or moments?
I played my very first solo live show and proved to myself that there is life in the old dog yet.

There must have been a shitty time too?
Yes, a lot actually. My closest family member died and I experienced true grief for the first time. My leaping into the unknown with a new project became incredibly terrifying and uncertain. I got a hair cut that makes me look more like an Auntie Debbie than a Debbie Harry.

Did you go on holiday this year? Anywhere nice?
If you can count laying in my bed watching Drag Race a holiday, then I went there a lot for many days at a time.

What was the song you listened to most?
It’s late in the year but I currently can’t stop listening to ‘New York’ by St. Vincent. Also, I know it’s basic but I listened to ‘Look What You Made Me Do’, like, 12,000 times when it first dropped.

How about the movie of the year?
Call Me By Your Name.

Big question now – who should have really won the Great British Bake Off?
LIAM.

What positives will you take from 2017?
I am braver than I thought.

And what was the best gig you saw?
Perfume Genius at Heaven. He is perfection. That record was unbelievable.

There’s a frontrunner for the villain of the year, but who or what do you think is second to that guy?
Feels impossible to not say Trump. Followed by Pheelan on Corrie.

What will be your new year’s resolution for 2018?
Be less embarrassed of the space you take up.

Any other comments?
More gay episodes of Don’t Tell The Bride, please.

Thank you, Rebecca

Hello Nadine (Shah),

What will be your lasting memory of 2017?
Therapy and self help books!

What did you do on your birthday this year?
Got dumped by my boyfriend and then that evening had to play an acoustic show and had an onstage meltdown. Don’t bother googling it, I had the video evidence removed.

Were there any other standout days or moments?
Sharing the stage with John Cale and singing ‘Femme Fatale’ was a definite highlight.

There must have been a shitty time too?
Was my birthday anecdote not painful enough for you?!!

Did you go on holiday this year? Anywhere nice?
I hijacked my parents holiday to Italy. I ate loads, drank loads, had the best time with them and they paid for it! It’s funny how you spend so much of your youth trying to avoid hanging out with your parents; the older I get the more I want to hang out with them. They’re mint.

What was the song you listened to most?
One of mine called ‘Ordinary’ cause I can never remember the lyrics and needed to learn it for the tour.

How about the movie of the year?
I watch so many bloomin’ films I dunno! I thought the new Blade Runner was awesome and a film called Mother by Darren Aronofsky.

Big question now – who should have really won the Great British Bake Off?
LIAM OBVS.

What positives will you take from 2017?
The new series of Stranger Things, Blue Planet II, series 4 of Peaky Blinders and natural wines. I like telly and wine.

And what was the best gig you saw?
I’m sure loads of people are going to say the same as me… Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds at the O2. Oddly, it was the first time I’d ever seen them play and they somehow made it feel like they were playing in your front room. Class. I also saw Depeche Mode play the Barrowlands in Glasgow and that was the total opposite thing to the Bad Seeds show. I’ve seen Depeche play so many times and only in huge arenas and this venue was tiny in comparison. It too was class.

There’s a frontrunner for the villain of the year, but who or what do you think is second to that guy?
Too many to mention. Let’s just say Daily Mail headlines. Sick and evil idiots.

What will be your new year’s resolution for 2018?
Probably to vacate London.

Any other comments?
Yep. It may not be front page news but the refugee crisis is worse than ever AND it’s getting cold. Here is one of the many charities you can donate to Help Refugees. Thanks so much!
Love Nadine x

Thank you Nadine, your feedback is important to us

Hello Rachel (Goswell, Slowdive),

What will be your lasting memory of 2017?
An incredibly busy and positive year for both me personally and for Slowdive. My lasting memory possibly will be how did we all get through all the touring in one piece, still smiling?!

What did you do on your birthday this year?
We played a show in Buenos Aries and the crowd sung happy birthday to me whilst a cake (with thankfully not as many candles as my actual age) was brought out on stage.

Were there any other standout days or moments?
Musically speaking, when ‘Star Roving’ was released in January that was pretty exciting to see the reactions along with the album release. Also, having the opportunity to share stages with and talk to musicians that influenced us early on (notably J Mascis, Thurston Moore and Robin Guthrie) and having a mutual appreciation natter with Debbie Goodge. Personally, getting engaged back in April was very special.

There must have been a shitty time too?
Actually this year has been devoid of shitty times pretty much on a personal level, which is a first! However, plenty of shitty things are going on around the world on a daily basis.

Did you go on holiday this year? Anywhere nice?
I managed a one-week holiday down in Falmouth in August, which was lovely and not too far from where I live so that was a bonus.

What was the song you listened to most?
I’m terrible with song titles but I put forward both Japanese Breakfast and Zola Jesus as repeat players on my turn table.

How about the movie of the year?
I struggle to even get to the cinema when I’m home. I tend to watch movies on planes so it’s kinda hard to remember… I’ve just watched War For The Planet of The Apes on the way back from the States and enjoyed that. Wonder Woman was wholly disappointing though!

Big question now – who should have really won the Great British Bake Off?
No idea! Have never watched it.

What positives will you take from 2017?
Getting older is fun.

And what was the best gig you saw?
Dinosaur Jr at Pointu Festival in France. That was immense and I didn’t stop dancing. They are on fire and it was such a privilege to see them at a smaller festival.

There’s a frontrunner for the villain of the year, but who or what do you think is second to that guy?
Brexit.

What will be your new year’s resolution for 2018?
I don’t ever make resolutions as I just think it’s always a sure fire way of setting myself up for failure.

Any other comments?
(Silence).

We appreciated your feedback, Rachel

Hello Wesley (Gonzalez),

What will be your lasting memory of 2017?
It’s hard to say. Personally, I’ve been very happy with my record being released and touring it was great fun. I met so many lovely people and I’ve had great people working with me throughout the year. But, other than that, it’s been fucking terrifying. What an odd time to exist! The second half of the year has been easier to stomach, I guess, or maybe I’ve learnt how to cope better.

What did you do on your birthday this year?
I went to see Blade Runner, which I thought was shit. Then I went to Wetherspoons, put my table number on social media and watched the drinks flow in.

Were there any other standout days or moments?
The day I found out I was going to be on the cover of Loud And Quiet was pretty great, so thank you. I think I was at my most elated this year when my muse, Euan Hinshelwood (who has been voted Mr. Younghusband for 5 years in a row and also plays synth and sax in my band), did an impromptu DJ set at the Rough Trade tent at Green Man. I was doing UK garage-style MCing over the top of Kate Bush, Madness and Simple Minds – long live DJ Ian.

There must have been a shitty time too?
Yeah, but that’s all going on the second record so I don’t want to set off the spoiler alarm.

Did you go on holiday this year? Anywhere nice?
I went to Ibiza on a lads holiday with one other lad, who isn’t really much of a lad – neither am I. We made a video. I get scared of leaving London without a bunch of mofos to hold my hand, so the two days I spent making a video in Ibiza is the closest I’ve had to a holiday in the last few years; something I need to rectify.

What was the song you listened to most?
‘Tomboy’ – Princess Nokia
‘Namekuji’ – Part Chimp
‘My Boo’ – Ghost Town DJs
‘Gabriel’ – Roy Davies Jr
‘Watching Him Fade Away’ – Mac DeMarco

How about the movie of the year?
I very much enjoyed Get Out. I went to see it at Peckham Plex and it was packed and super rowdy (as it usually is there). It was absolutely terrific! I also liked that new Planet Of The Apes film – absolutely fucking love apes!

Big question now – who should have really won the Great British Bake Off?
Hillary Clinton.

What positives will you take from 2017?
I released my best LP to date. I can think back on yet another difficult year fondly because of that.

And what was the best gig you went to?
Princess Nokia at Brixton Electric – she’s great! Could’ve done with being 15 minutes shorter but it was absolutely banging. She’s my human of the year.

There’s a frontrunner for the villain of the year, but who or what do you think is second to that guy?
Hillary came second to that guy, have you not read up on it?

What will be your new year’s resolution for 2018?
Be positive, stay interested and push myself to do more

Any other comments?
Happy Christmas to all living beings.

Thank you Wesley, we appreciated your feedback and have passed on your details to a PPI reclaim company