Getting To Know You: Everything you need to know about Noodle from Gorillaz (yes, she’s a cartoon)

Never mind that The Gorillaz are the world’s first virtual band – their guitarist has taken our Getting To Know You questionnaire. Seems the Japanese former child assassin is still into killing, Grace Jones, spontaneous combustion and hamster arses

The best piece of advice you’ve been given

“Don’t lie down after a meal or you will turn into a cow.” It’s a Japanese saying. I’m still human, so there must be truth in it.

Your favourite word

‘Serendipity’. How it sounds and what it means. Because life is chaos and that can be frightening, but chaos also brings beautiful, unexpected things. Like Mavis Staples on a Gorillaz record.

Your pet-hate

People who blindly follow trends. Be what you are. Unless what you are is a total dick.

If you could only eat one food forever, it would be…

This is messed up. What kind of nightmarish dystopia would enforce that law? I’d spark a violent uprising like in The Hunger Games and change things. But if the revolution failed, I’d pick soba noodles.

The worst job you’ve had

Being a child super-assassin. A lot of night ops, and everyone who sees you wants you dead. A bit like working the Friday night shift at McDonald’s.

The film you can quote the most of

“I’m sorry, Wilson. I’m sorry! WILSON! WILSON!” Cast Away came out the year I joined Gorillaz. 2D would watch it five times a day. It really spoke to him; he even drew his own Wilson onto a watermelon. Murdoc butchered it with his battle-axe. Then juiced it. Maybe he was jealous. Or thirsty.

Favourite place in the world

Ryōan-ji, a Zen temple in Kyoto. Every day, under the cherry trees, the abbot rakes little pebbles into lines. It shows the mystery of life. Something we are not meant to understand, but that we should try to contemplate. Like Humanz.

Your style icon

Grace Jones. She pilots her own spaceship far above the worlds of gender, race and fashion stereotypes, always going somewhere brave and new and beautiful.

The one song you wished you’d written

‘Anaconda’ by Nicki Minaj. She owns her narrative in that song. I think she tries to subvert what society forces on her, which I admire.

The most famous person you’ve met

Kanye West, on tour in America. He believes he’s a misunderstood genius, just like Murdoc. Needless to say, they totally blanked each other.

The thing you’d rescue from a burning building

My bonsai tree. It grows out of the decapitated head of Cyborg Noodle. I never knew my parents, so the tree represents my roots; a link with home. It’s my happy place.

Your guilty pleasure

Hamster butts. Really big, fluffy ones. It’s a Japanese thing. There are many fans. Please Google it immediately, otherwise you’ll think I’m not well in my head.

Your first big extravagance

Probably my M134 Minigun. 5,000 rounds per minute. Give or take. Perfect for splattering advancing zombie hordes. She can get very hot. I call her Motoko.

The worst present you’ve received

A Judas Cradle. It’s a medieval torture device. Murdoc is only good at buying presents he himself wants.

The characteristic you most like about yourself

The way I pick myself up after I’ve been knocked down. Or blown up, like during the video shoot for ‘El Manana’.

Your hidden talent

Particle physics. Not hidden, exactly. I have a diploma. But the particles are tiny and v hard to find.

Your favourite item of clothing

Right now I’m into mixing urban camo and utility wear, so I really love my MA1 flight jacket.

Your biggest disappointment

Finding out that Queen don’t rule Britain. As a kid I loved Freddy Mercury. He would have made a good leader. But then I found out the real person in charge was a man called Rupert Murdoch. Don’t worry, he’s on my list. ;-).

Your biggest fear

Spider-clowns.

The best book in the world

A Brief History of Time.

People’s biggest misconception about yourself

That I’m cold. I’m not. I just take a while to warm up. Like the sea.

What is success to you?

Not worth losing sleep over.

What talent do you wish you had?

Time travel. Especially backwards. There are several people I’d like to assassinate. Mostly men, but that’s history for you.

How would you choose to die?

Spontaneous combustion. I’ve always wanted to go supernova.

What is the most overrated thing in the world?

Cupcakes. The icing promises so much, but the cake part is always really bland. They are inherently disappointing.

What, if anything, would you change about your physical appearance?

I would like a big, fluffy bum like a hamster.

What’s your biggest turn-off?

Bullies.

What would you tell your 15-year-old self?

How to win the Cyberdemon boss battle in Doom 3. I wasted months on that.

Your best piece of advice for others

“If you never enter the tiger’s cave, you will not catch its cub.” It means you will never succeed if you are too afraid to try. Another Japanese saying. Please stay away from actual tigers, though.